Peanut Butter vs. Jelly

“You can’t eat that.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said, you can’t eat that.”

“What?  My peanut butter and jelly sandwich?”

“That’s right.  You can only eat a jelly sandwich.”

“Wait.  Who are you, and what gives you the right to tell me what to eat?”

“I’m Ken Ham.  I get to tell you what to eat because I believe the Bible is God’s word.”

“Well, I believe the Bible is God’s word, too, and I don’t see why I can’t eat my sandwich.”

“It’s like this.  Peanut butter was created in a lab by evil scientists.  Jelly is made from fruit, the way God intended.  Besides, there’s something over in Leviticus about mixing things.  I can’t quote chapter and verse right now, but give me a second.”

“Hey, don’t listen to a word that guy says!”

“OK.  Who are you?”

“I’m Bill Freakin’ Nye, the science guy!”

“I suppose you have an opinion about my sandwich, too.”

“You bet!  You can only eat peanut butter sandwiches.  Not peanut butter and jelly.”

“And why would that be?”

“Because – only silly, superstitious, un-enlightened people eat jelly on sandwiches.  It has been scientifically proven that peanut butter tastes better than jelly.”

“Ken.  Bill.  It doesn’t have to be this way.  It’s perfectly acceptable to have both peanut butter and jelly on one’s sandwich.  As a matter of fact, guys, if you tried both of them together – peanut butter and jelly – you might find that it is a wonderfully tasty combination.”

“Not me.  I’ll never change.  I’m a Christian, you know.  We have to draw the line somewhere.”

“I’ll never change, either.  I’m a scientist, you know.  We have to promote only what can be proven in a lab.”

“Mmmppph.”

“What?”

“What’s that you say?”

“Sorry, guys.  My mouth was full of peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  What I said was:  ‘I feel sorry for you.’”